Friday, 13 May 2016

The Bald Truth

*Written for the May edition of the Short Story Challenge on the Sims 4 forums.  This months topic was Growth.  I was intending something deep and meaningful and that is where my first ideas led me.  But then, for some reason, I came up with this brain fart of an idea!  I love sci fi B-Movies and once the idea was in my head I couldn't shake it.  When you gotta write, you gotta write!

Please enjoy!*

A photograph lay on Dr. Follicle's desk. He'd been staring at it for the last few hours. His fingers traced the outline of the man's face. This just couldn't be. For as long as any Sim could remember there had been no hair. Not one. 

Sure, there where the myths. The wide held belief in CAS, where Watcher fearing Sims could become whatever they dreamed. But no proof. No evidence. Until now. Suddenly everything has changed. If Sims knew! But, he couldn't tell them. Not yet. Not before he had investigated. He wanted to show them more than just a photograph. He wanted to show them real hair. On a head. 


A pretty woman enters his office. 

“I need you to clear my lab schedule. Completely.”

“Completely, Doctor!?” Her mouth drops open. 

"Completely. I need to find a way to,” the Doctor's gaze switches to the middle distance, “grow some hair!” 

“But Doctor, such a task! How will you fit it all into our short allotted story space!” 

“I have my ways, Jenkins. I have my ways.” 

“No! Not the...” Jenkins hands fly to her face as the Doctor fixes her with a determined stare. 

“Yes. I'll need to use; a montage!” 

“But Doctor, please think of the screenshot limit!” 

“Damn, the screenshot limit! ” 

Jenkins faints to the floor.


Putting the marker pen down he looks back at his reflection.

He has exhausted every avenue. The montage has failed. Even when hair does grow, it is unruly and ridiculous and never lasts. As he turns he finds Jenkins wearing a worried expression.

“Ahh, Jenkins” He walks to his desk and slumps into the seat.

“Doctor Follicle,” Jenkins pleads, “You must stop this. It is not right. This whole hair thing, it's, it's not natural!”

“My dear, sweet, innocent Jenkins. How I wish I could live my life unshackled by my thirst for knowledge. Live in a world of certainties, my head full of nothing but air and fairies. With you.” He touches her face gently, then turns away. His head drops.

“But I can't. My brain seeks truth. Knowledge. This, this... hair. It's a puzzle I must solve. The unknowing. It's, it's like a ball, here..”

He taps his chest.

“A ball stuck in my throat. A....a hair ball.” He faces her, his eyes searching.

“I need to cough up that hair ball, Jenkins. Don't you understand. Cough it right out!”

Dr. Follicle calls the team into his office, facing the fact he needs assistance. He has some theories about the missing hair that he must share. He realised that hair is not something you can keep under your hat.

Once they are all comfortable he presents his case and he reveals something new he has discovered.

“Look, I have found a clue.” he jabs the photograph with his forefinger.

“What's that?” asks Randall. The Doctor gives him a confused look.

“It's a, a piece of information that helps you solve a problem.” The Doctor answers slowly. “But that's not important right now. What is important is that I think this piece of equipment is a wormhole generator.”

Mouths drop open as he continues.

“And I think that what ever happened to all the hair in Simtopia happened through that wormhole. We need to find it. And I believe it is in the basement.”

“Oh, Doctor!” squeaks Jenkins.

“But,” Randall questions, “How can you be so sure?”

“Of?” The Doctor drew out the word.

“Well, firstly that it is a wormhole generator, secondly that it has anything to do with hair and thirdly that it is still in the basement! That photograph must have been taken decades ago.”

“Randall!” the Doctor stands dramatically,

“Now is not time for logic. What time we have is limited! If this was some story for a novel, there would be ample chance for expansion on topics but this is real life, Watcher, Dammit!”

The Doctor spins and heads out of the door.

The group venture into the basements. The place is dusty. The thoughts and dreams of scientists past. Cardboard box storage of minds.

In a room at the end of one of the corridors the Doctor signals the others to stop.

The room is bare save for a large wormhole generator. Taking the photograph from his pocket he holds it up, comparing the photograph to the room.

“But it is right there.” Randall whispers, the others glare at him, Jenkins puts her finger to her lips.

The Doctor sighs and rubs his temples.

 Randall speaks up; “Doctor. Isn't that it right th..”

“Quiet! Can't you see the Doctor is thinking!” Jenkins snaps.

The Doctor studies the photograph again.

“I've found it.” He announces.

The group spread out into the room and surround the machine.

“I have to go through. I know it will be dangerous, but Simanity needs me to go through.”

“But Doctor, you could be killed! What if the generator at the other end is damaged, you'll be lost forever. Your particles spread across all space and time.” Jenkins waves her hands dramatically as she speaks. Everyone follows their movements.

“Never to be returned to us.”

There is a unified gasp as all eyes fall on the Doctor.

The Doctor swallows. His eyes dart around the room. In the corner Randall is deep in an examination of his fingernails.

“I mean, needs US.” The Doctor gestures towards Randall. “Needs US to go through.”

“Me! No chance. I think you're all nuts.”

“It's perfectly safe, dear boy.”

“I know IT'S safe.” He points at the machine. “It's us I am worried about. Didn't you hear what she just said.”

“Come on, my lad, where is your sense of adventure!?”

The Doctor moves towards him as he speaks, takes his arm and leads the reluctant Randall towards the generator.

“Fire it up! Let's see what this baby's got!”

The planet is nothing like they could have imagined. There was no sun in the sky, at least none that they ever saw. All light came from the very world around them. The trees and plants, even the ground glowed eerily.

“Doctor, this thing I carry around is reading a word count of 1068 , we are running out of time.”

“Is that including the word count itself or just up to it?”

“What?! I...I don't know.”

“Then quiet and let me work, Randall. I may have stumbled across something.”

As Randall helps the Doctor to his feet they both look up at the wondrous tree before them. 

“Is that plant growing... wigs!? Little upturned wigs!?” gasps Randall.

The Doctor holds the harvested plant aloft. “Gotcha!” 

Back at the labs Dr. Follicle begins working on a serum derived from the wig plant. Never leaving his lab. Running tests on himself. After several weeks he emerges from his private lab. His assistants stop and turn. 

“I am wasting my time. The alien plant and Simian cell structure are just not compatible. Although the plant is capable of growing hair it will never fully combine.... What? What's wrong? 

Jenkins is pointing at him, her hand over her mouth. 

“You're... hairy, Doctor.” Randall splutters. 

Doctor Follicle runs back to his lab in search of a mirror.

Staring at his reflection he sees much more than even he had expected.... 

Turning to face the interlopers he composes himself. 

“What do you want? This is my private lab.” 

“Nice hair, Dr. Follicle.” said the Alien 

“How do you know my name?” 

The Alien gestures towards him, “You wear an identification label.” 

The other steps forward. “You have got too close to the truth Dr. Follicle.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Don't play dumb, Doctor.” the Alien shouts. “We know you have uncovered our plan to take over your world!” 

“Errmmm. No, I just grew some hair.”

"So, you didn't discover that pure Simians vanished long ago? Or that we have been silently infiltrating your planet since your people came to our world. We were able to perfect our disguises. Almost. You saw how the hair failed, if only we'd had your new research. No matter. Embracing our baldness we began breeding, thus creating a Sim-Alien hybrid. You didn't get ANY of that?” 

“No." cried the Doctor.  "But, that's terrible!” 

The first Alien glared. 

 “What did you go and tell him the whole thing for!? Sheesh!” 

Looking through the glass at all the sims working, blissfully ignorant. It couldn't be true. But his serum had worked. He was the proof. Serum devised from a Sixam plant. A serum that couldn't work with Simian DNA.

“But that means...” he turned, “..that means. We are really... you?” 

The aliens nod. 



  1. Oh, this was hysterical, love all the fourth walls jokes! And I must say, Dalton is sexy as ever, even when playing a character with a chrome dome. ^_^

    1. Thank you! I have to admit to a few giggles myself when writing it! And Dalton, I was surprised how well he suited the blonde hair at the end! ;-)

  2. Hahahahahaha. Oh - I am just laughing from this! It's perfect.

    1. Thank you! I am glad you liked it. I felt the need to step away from serious for a while and just go a little crazeeee! :)

  3. This is SO much fun! :) :) :)

    1. Glad you enjoyed it! It was a good one to write! :)

  4. Bwahahah! What a fantastic story! I absolutely loved it all! Like all the little jokes and details. So funny!!! <3